too stress until I can't breath anymore..
actually.. I dunno what's the problem.. just feel stress and.. I sorta have the feeling.. to suicide = =
what's wrong ar.. I also dunno..
just found out that I spoke to myself again..
but this time I realize that I acted weird lols..
without knowing.. I talked to myself.. and suddenly I can hear my own voice and I'm like.. huh?!
oh craps.. I really need to do something to release all tensions ady = =
in 2 hours.. I have lots of thoughts that I never thought of..
thinking of becoming a lesbian.. suicide by drinking clorox..
this is really insane.. how can I become so stress until feel like wanna kill myself ar?
fk!! = =
anyway.. I think there is something to do with my school life..
seriously.. I dislike my school life.. it is so sucks until I don't feel like working hard on maintaining my relationships anymore..
sorry to say but.. I always thinks that my friends are different from me.. (from my POV.. excluding others'..)
my friends' way of thinking and mine are different..
I couldn't adopt to this social network anymore.. I don't wanna try to make friends and act like I love my friends anymore.. tiring mannn..
I was thinking and planning 'bout my future.. and I have a complete plan now..
I'm working on it..
then I look at the peoples around me..
lol? do they have a dream? what I can see is.. they still playing around and studying hard for SPM ONLY..
I didn't see anyone who starts to plan about their future and focusing on their dreams..
everyday playing around.. totally crash with what I wanna do in school which is study and being serious from now on..
spot the difference? I am ready to accept the challenges in my future.. but my friends are still stepping on the same spot..
I need someone who got a target and work hard together..
sigh.. got la.. someone planned ady.. I'm not talking 'bout everyone now.. most of my friends takde plan je..
some of them are planning.. but their focus is on.. the salary..
sigh.. sad mannn.. I never take life easy.. they never too but.. I bet they will regret for what they have chosen in the future lo..
"so waddup? you got a plan ady? for your future?" "dunno la.. so hard to choose.. blablabla.. that's why I need to choose something that can get a salary of 10k"
lame? yea for me its kinda funny..
you can't even think of what course you wanna take.. what is your interests and you thought of the salary first?
then I may need to reconsider to become a designer ady..
maybe I need to study civil? or maybe medical to get higher salary???
sound so stupid I can't even understand fully my Biology now..
nevermind.. everyone have different point of views.. she's a materialistic person..
I won't force her to have same thoughts with me.. and I never say that her considerations are wrong..
I know she got some comments on my thoughts too.. something that she doesn't agree with me..
sorry la but I say it out first.. lols..
just that.. I really can't tahan anymore.. listen to those topic.. listen to what she said makes me feel stress..
different people wad.. I don't agree her POV but I won't like saying that it's wrong laa.. tidak setuju SAHAJA.. tak salah eyy..
but can say that.. because of what I heard AGAIN today.. makes me feel depress..
sound so weird but dunno la maybe CCY mia hidden side is like this 1 gua = =
actually none of my business.. I KNOW.. I don't have the points and rights to comment on it.. I KNOW.. but just can't help thinking 'bout it..
you know.. feel 'sien' when you be with those not-your-type friends..
and I'm now in that type of mood now.. sien until I don't wanna go school and listen to those I don't understand and don't wanna understand mia topics or comments..
seriously I wanted to study.. I got that study mood and I feel like~ studying a lot = =
but today went to school.. after I heard what she said.. ishhh.. stupid me.. get distracted and I've been emo until now = =
yorhhh.. since when I become like this ar? sighs..
what's my problem ar?
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owh owh owh~ last one.. ngam habis first..
someone asked me to transfer songs to her.. using MY pendrive..
"see your face also know you didn't bring my songs one lo.. right?"
"mmm" *studying.. so not really paying attention*
"then why you didn't bring?"
"because I forgot"
"I reminded you twice.. then why you forgot leh?"
"errr.. actually I get the message once only leh = ="
"don't care la.. I reminded you twice.. "
"uh huh.. then?"
"you got bring or not?"
"no.."
"then why leh?" *like she's the mom and teguring the child.. those lan ci tone and act like she's the boss*
"no reason" *lazy to answer ady.. her tone made me darn tak syok..*
-grabs her memory card and simply put my stuffs back into my pencil case-
hello? sorry miss.. you are the one who wanna ask help from me.. and you were like ordering me..
I know la we all dah kenal lama~ you thought I wont be so sensitive or what~
but think yourself.. weren't that too mean?
who the heck in this world are you and where the heck you got the rights to use that tone on me?
I did nothing wrong okay.. like I hutang you A LOT~~~ THAT IS MY PENDRIVE MISS..
even my mom also never talk to me with that tone.. it was really HAK YAN ZANG..
I need to use my pendrive so I forgot to transfer you the songs.. is that a big matter until you need to tegur me like that?
this is the first time I say these to you.. we've been so close but I need to say this out..
today.. you made my day sucks.. if you notice.. I'm not replying you all the time..
read this and THANKS. *kinda pissed off*
sighs.. go release my aggression first = =
P/S
don't get it wrong.. I'm not trying to critic anyone in this post but just wanna say out everything that have been kept in my mind so long.. it disturbs me for so long and I can't tahan anymore = =
sorry and I NEVER SAY THAT I'M RIGHT IN EVERYTHING.. ALRIGHT.
found a tunnel @ 6:55:00 PM
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